Half of Nothing
by Cass the Curse
Summary: A story of the love (cough and more) that binds two brothers--complete
1. Default Chapter

Half of Nothing  
  
I'm learning to breathe  
  
I'm learning to crawl  
  
I'm finding that you and you alone  
  
Can break my fall.  
  
-By Yama-Kun  
  
1  
  
Takeru and I used to have incredibly long conversations about important things; who invented Cheerios, how exactly those metallic markers worked, oh and also the evil that was our family. T.K. normally did most of the talking, which may surprise you. If you know me you ought to be aware of how hard it is for me to keep my opinions to myself. Thing is it's different with Takeru, because he always has something interesting to say. Not to mention the fact that most of our views are the same. He is my little brother after all; and the spitting image if I do say so myself. I remember the look he always got on his face when he was really into what he was talking about, the way those blue eyes would get a bright gleam to them almost as though he would cry if I didn't see his point how his eyebrows lowered slightly and his mouth parting so quickly with his words that I could barely understand what he was saying let alone argue against his views. Tonight was no different from any other night when Takeru crept over to my house in the middle of the night, I wasn't sure where he'd gotten a key in the first place but it was no bother. He was my little brother and I did love him...maybe more then I should've.  
  
"You know, if Mom and Dad really did love us they would never have seperated us in the first place. It's not fair is it? They are so stupid Matt. And now Mom doesn't even let me visit you! I hate her I really do."   
  
He informed me, I rolled onto my side to get a clearer view of the thin frame of Takeru. He wasn't laying down, he'd sat up on the edge of the bed with his back facing me. His shoulders were raised tensely pale exposed back almost shining in the moonlight, the blonde mass of hair coating his head was a mess from laying on his pillow for hours. I had the strongest urge to sit up and pull him into an embrace but I couldn't convince my body to move. So instead I lay there with my mouth opened stupidly struggling for words to his comment.  
  
"You- you don't hate her Takeru. I'm sure she thinks she's doing what's best for you."  
  
I tried to explain forcing myself into a sitting position leaning my weight on my palm against the soft matress. T.K.'s shoulders shook in distress and I sighed.  
  
"And besides...your here aren't you? So what does it matter, right?"  
  
I questioned, he froze in mid-shake his breath hilted for a moment before he lay back against his pillow. His back still towards me, he wrapped his arms around his pillow. Absentmindedly I rumpled his hair and then also rolled away from him, I'd almost fallen asleep when Takeru's voice rung out again.  
  
"But it does matter Matt...because you've never done anything to deserve how she acts."   
  
I shrugged refusing to turn to face my younger brother. I wasn't going to confirm the suspicions that the way she treated me did bother me. I was her son just as much as Takeru was and yet she treated me like I was some sort of black sheep. I'd never done anything wrong to Takeru in all his sixteen years...nothing. And I never would. Like I said, I loved Takeru more then I could ever have loved myself. I forced a yawn before bothering to reply.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Squirt. Just go to sleep."  
  
T.K. threw his arm around me hugging me tightly, curling his face against my neck. I closed my eyes for a moment emitting a slight sigh.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Takeru reminded me before removing himself from the embrace and rolling back onto his side to slip quickly into sleep. I opened my eyes forcefully as I turned to look at my younger brother. He honestly wasn't my spitting image...no Takeru was nothing like me. He understood people a lot better then I did, how they felt. I didn't even have to say what was on my mind...he just knew. Takeru always...just knew. Perhaps that was why I couldn't stop myself from brushing my lips over the base of his neck. He didn't stir and a moment later I was asleep as well. My back facing T.K.'s back, as though nothing had changed at all. 


	2. Ch 2

2  
  
The scent of burnt eggs fogged the kitchen, billowing clouds of smoke floated to the ceiling. The fire alarm sung out it's annoying ringing. I grabbed the pan off the oven dropping the eggs in the garbage can, unfortunately in the process I also forgot that metal handles have a tendency to be hot. Takeru continued pouring his cereal ignoring the ruckus. He was probably used to it by now.   
  
"Ow, ow, ow." I chanted dropping the pan to the tile floor where it clattered noisily. At my chorus of ows he looked up from his bowl and grabbed my hand quickly inspecting it for burns.  
  
"Thats almost a second degree burn Yama-kun. You should put gauze on that." I pulled my hand away aggravated. What a way to ruin ones pride. And just to be rebellious I had to act like an idiot.  
  
"I'm not putting gauze on a burn Takeru. It would stick to it and make matters worse." He shrugged pushing the milk back into the refrigerator and sat down at the table with his cheerios.  
  
"Have it your way." He said stubbornly, this was a reminder if anything that T.K. was my little brother. He'd gotten so many of his personality traits from me it was amazing that he was such a good person. I picked up a towel from under the oven, using it to put the pan in the sink under the cold water. In turn I also ran my hand under it. After which I wrapped it in gauze...just because I'm like that.  
  
"Happy now?" I asked T.K. holding up the bandaged hand. He grinned crookedly and nodded, simultaneously shoveling a spoonful into his mouth. A few minutes passed in silence as Takeru chewed his cereal. The silence however was not something that was built to last in the Ishida residence. It was ended rather abruptly by a loud banging from the hall. I winced at the sound, there was no doubt that it was going to leave marks in the wall.  
  
"Matt! Have you seen my boxers---" Tai started stepping into the kitchen doorway. I looked up from the newspaper I'd opened and blinked at him. His eyes wandered slowly over to Takeru and his face flushed ashamedly. "OH! Hey Takeru." Tai stuttered his hand wandering up to his hair. T.K. continued to stare at the fuzzy haired brunette as if he'd just grown a third head.  
  
"Uh." I choked out, a smirk curled my lips. "Could you not bang the door next time?" Tai nodded rumpling his hair habitually. I shook my head and pushed myself up from the table forcing myself to walk into the room I'd shared with Takeru the night before and pull Tai's boxers out of the dirty laundry hamper. Handing them to him I pushed him out the door.  
  
"Come back later Taichi, we're bonding." I barely had time to see Tai's mouth drop open to speak before the door closed in his face. Probably bloodying his nose. At the moment I didn't care. It was Tai after all...he liked it rough last time I checked.   
  
"We're the boxers here?" Takeru questioned as I stepped into the kitchen, he couldn't see me with his back turned to the door but apparantly I had noisy socks.  
  
"He didn't say boxers...he said...okay he said boxers. But he meant gloves. Boxing gloves. We were...boxing." I lied out of my teeth dropping back into my chair and opening the newspaper again.  
  
"Your lying." Takeru pointed out taking another bite of his cheerios. I snickered gazing over at him.  
  
"Yes I am." I admitted. He shook his head. No more was said on the subject of Tai's boxers, thankfully. 


	3. Ch 3

3.  
  
"So...it's Saturday morning. What do you want to do?" I asked Takeru as he placed his cereal bowl in the sink. He looked back at me and rubbed his hands together. He thought for a moment and then grinned.  
  
"Cartoons." He informed me before turning and walking out of the kitchen into the living room. Takeru planted himself on the couch, he would be there for hours. It was pointless to bother him while he was in cartoon land. Sighing I raised my blue vision to the ceiling.  
  
"Cartoons. Of course cartoons." With an indignant snort I sat the newspaper down on the table in front of me and joined T.K. in the living room. A stuffed animal was dancing around on the screen singing in a high girlish voice about why you should buy it. It's main merchandising factor was 'I say 10 different things!'. Well good for you stupid bear, I say a hell of a lot more. The things people tried to sell now-a-days. T.K. stared intently at the screen oblivious to the fact that I'd even joined him in the room. Like I said...pointless.  
  
"Couldn't we do something else? Something I don't know, not involving dancing stuffed-"  
  
Takeru placed a hand over my mouth and made a shushing noise.  
  
"Shhhh, this is my favorite show." He informed me. I shook my head, he lowered his hand from my mouth and went back to focusing on the show. I leaned back against the couch putting my arms behind my head and closed my eyes. If nothing else productive came out of the day atleast I could get a little rest. I opened an eye slightly looking at my younger brother, he had a bemused grin painted on his face. His blue eyes had gazed over slightly hair fell into his eyes finally shaken from its helmet clinging form from a full nights sleep. He apparantly didn't feel my eyes on him as he didn't look back.   
  
"I love you." I reminded him. He nodded absentmindedly.  
  
"Yea, yea love you too." I groaned grabbing the TV remote from his hand. I turned it off and sat the remote on the endtable beside me. Out of his reach. T.K. looked at me confused. In an attempt to get his show back he tried to lean over me and grab the remote and I grabbed him around the waist and pushed him back into his seat.  
  
"What are you doing Yama-kun?" He questioned, a completely puzzled expression gracing his familiar features. I sighed and turned sideways on the couch to face him. He stared at me almost worried, or maybe even scared. I didn't know what to do so I just did what felt right. I reached out to him, caressing his cheek gently with a thumb. The puzzled look didn't leave his face, his eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't resist the tiniest of smirks at his reaction.  
  
"I love you." I repeated placing my other hand on the opposite side of his face so that I could cradle his head in my hands. He gasped slightly but there was no resistance in that thin body. Of course it was likely that he was in such a state of shock that he couldn't convince himself to push me away. Either way I wasn't going to let this opportunity slip through my fingers like so many had before. No I wasn't going to waste anymore time. I leaned closer to him resting my forehead against his, I could feel his breath in short quick spurts hitting my lips. Closing my eyes I tilted my head to the side and pressed my lips softly against his. He heaved against my mouth his hands rose to rest on my chest. But he didn't push me away, he complied well enough with my advancements which was a surprise all in it's own.  
  
"Ishida? What the hell are you doing?" I pulled away from Takeru who continued staring at me in such shock that he couldn't even blink. Taichi was standing in the doorway.  
  
"Is this what you call bonding?" He yelled. I flushed and grabbed T.K. up by his shirt.  
  
"Go to my room. You don't need to hear this." He opened his mouth to protest and I quieted him quickly brushing his hair away from his face. "Just do it...okay?"  
  
He nodded hesitantly and left the room. I turned to confront Tai. The brunette stared at me from the doorway, his hands clenched into tight fists, eyes almost flashing with anger...or disgust one.  
  
"Look-" I started, but before I could even get the words out Taichi had grabbed me by the collar.   
  
"I don't want to hear about it." He spat out through gritted teeth, I couldn't persuade my body to fight back. I just stood there slackly staring at him. Waiting for him to leave. "You are disgusting." Tai informed me throwing me sideways into the Grandfather clock sitting in the corner. I winced as the glass broke cutting narrow slashes into my back and bloodying my shirt. Taichi said nothing more. He just left and I sat there bleeding and ashamed. My chest heaved in pain, my brain racked up his words. Registering the meaning, 'You are disgusting'. It repeated over and over again in my head like a mantra...or a chant until I couldn't take it anymore. I was disgusting. I was revolting. I loved my own brother. It was wrong. I pulled my knees up to my chin and buried my face in my arms. Then I cried. 


	4. Ch 4

4.  
  
There was a noise, maybe a choke. I couldn't really tell in my current state. And then there was a hand, a gentle hand that I'd felt enough times to know who it belonged to. He touched my shoulder carefully, his touch moved quickly down my back pulling up the back of my shirt to inspect the cuts. It was just like Takeru to care about something so trivial. To be honest my back didn't hurt near as much as my pride did. But I wasn't going to complain, it was T.K. touching my exposed back after all. Earnestly I'd hungered for him to touch me in such a manner before, I'd never expected it to happen however. It was just one of my weird daydreams...nor had I expected it to happen while I was sobbing hopelessly and cut all to hell.   
  
"Yama-kun?" Takeru's voice was husky, unused, worried. I shook my head not lifting my face to see him. "Matt." His hand left my back, there was a part of me that was almost disappointed until I felt him pushing the hair away from my forehead. He brushed his lips across a pale temple, it was soothing to my pounding head. I lifted my head out of my arms to look at the younger boy, he'd collapsed on his knees in front of my crouching body. Now he stared back at me through eyes identical to my own.  
  
"Are you allright?" He asked his lip trembling, I nodded resting my chin on my arms. I diverted my gaze away from him staring at the wall blankly for a moment. Finally I managed to push myself into a standing position wincing at the stabbing pain in my back.  
  
"I should clean this up." I realized looking down at the shards of glass on the ground. "Real shame, clock was a family heirloom." I forced a smirk onto my face. But I was stupid to assume he'd buy it. If anybody knew me it was Takeru. He could tell when I was lying, he could tell when I was sad, he knew when to joke and when not to. T.K. was in all honestly perfect. The only person I knew for a fact I would never get tired of spending time with.  
  
"But...your back-" Takeru stuttered gazing up at me from his kneeling position on the ground. I sighed, a sad smile replacing the smirk and ruffled his dirty blonde hair.  
  
"I'm fine." I reassured him. He jumped up quickly and threw his arms around my neck. For a moment I was in just as much shock as I had a feeling I'd put him in earlier. That only lasted for a second as I slipped my arms around his narrow waist pulling him close. He nuzzled his face into my neck pressing his lips lightly to my collarbone.  
  
"I love you too, Matt." T.K. informed me. I closed my eyes savoring the moment, the scent of his hair the way his lips were soft against my skin. He kissed my neck twice before pulling his face back too look up at me, his mouth twitched into the tiniest of grins. The grin was short-lived as I pushed it away, placing my lips over his. My eyes slid closed and his hands slipped into my hair pushing lightly against the back of my head. Holding my mouth to his, as though he wanted this almost as badly as I did. I forgot about the gashes in my back, about the fact that only a moment ago I'd been crying over how wrong this was. Because how could it be wrong...when it felt so right?   
  
I breathed in my younger brother, I lived on the timid manner with which he met my kisses. The reluctant reply to when I slid my tongue into his mouth and then the way all reluctancy faded to nothing as he melted into my arms. Our mouths blended into a passionate fury, want and love mixed into one combined with familiarity and acceptance. And it was beautiful. More so than anything anybody could ever have shown me. More so then anything I'd ever seen in my whole life or anything I ever would see. There would never be anything like kissing Takeru. Tongues met, in a mixture of caressing and massaging. He pushed his body closer to mine, I wrapped my arms tighter around him holding him as close as I could without breaking our connection.  
  
His hands roamed down my neck fingers tingling along my spine sending a shiver through my body. His hands moved further to rest on either of my shoulders. The left hand was hitting a slash. I did my best to ignore the pain it was sending through my back, I didn't want to pull away. I didn't want it to ever end. So I suppose it was a good thing that T.K. himself noticed the fact that he was touching a cut. He pulled back slowly and opened his eyes to look at me. He held his hand in front of his face, there was blood on the ends of his fingers.  
  
"Oh Yama-kun...I'm so sorry." He cried out hugging me tightly. I held him rubbing his back soothingly.  
  
"It's okay. I'm fine." I assured him. He kissed my jaw softly and then grabbed my hand.  
  
"Lets go get you bandaged up." 


	5. Ch 5

5.  
  
"Do you think he'll come back?" Takeru asked. I wrapped my arms around my knees bowing my head and shrugged.  
  
"Probably." I finally replied staring at the bedrest, my back was to T.K. he crouched behind me his trembling hands wrapping bandages around my midsection. I probably looked like some sort of circus freak coated in gauze. Something wet hit my shoulder, I blinked in confusion for a second and then turned to look at Takeru. He was crying, not like he usually did with loud gasping sobs. No this was something else, and somehow the silent crying was so much more heartbreaking.  
  
"Whats wrong?" I questioned worriedly rearranging myself on the bed so I could look at him directly. He squeezed his eyes shut as another crocodile tear slid down his cheek. I wiped it away with a steady thumb, letting my hand rest on his cheek.  
  
"It's horrible, Matt." I gulped letting my hand drop away from him. His eyes shot open quickly, I nodded and lifted myself off the bed.  
  
"I'm sorry. It's my fault Takeru. I never should have told you." I muttered standing inside the doorframe with my back to him as I spoke. "I should've just kept it to myself."  
  
"No-" Takeru started but I quickly cut him off.   
  
"It's okay...you don't have to make excuses for it. I understand. You wanted to make me feel better. Like I wasn't some sort of monster." I continued on running a hand stressfully through my untidy dirty blonde hair.  
  
"No-" He tried once more.  
  
"I'm so sorry." All at once Takeru had jumped off the bed his arms were wrapped around my bandaged middle.  
  
"Thats not what I meant, Yamato. I meant your back." T.K. explained leaning his face into the crook between my shoulders. "I do love you Yama. I really do." I choked slightly on his words as he nuzzled against my gauzed back, kissing the bare patches of my shirtless skin. I leaned back against the smaller boy, his hands slid over my stomach gracefully. I turned in his arms and pried his hands away.  
  
"You shouldn't." I mumbled skirting myself around him and sitting down on the edge of the bed looking over at him. Another tear slipped down his cheek. I resisted the urge to hurry over and kiss it away, this wasn't supposed to be. It simply wasn't. Takeru sighed sliding back across the room. He stood in front of me for a moment and then climbed on my lap straddling my legs between his. He kissed me quickly and then pulled back to gaze at me.  
  
"Don't be stupid." Takeru breathed. I leaned forward resting my head against his chest.  
  
"Tai was right, this is disgusting." I sighed into his shirt. He forced my face up with a hand.  
  
"Does it feel disgusting to you?" He asked curiously. I shook my head.  
  
"No..." I replied.  
  
"Then it's not disgusting." T.K. said simply, and for some reason that was exactly what I'd needed to hear. That I wasn't some sort of monster. Love was just something that happened. You couldn't control who it was with, you couldn't explain it. It popped up in the strangest of places twisting normal things into something more. Something extraodinary.  
  
"Thank you." I said huskily snaking my arms around him, pulling him close to me. He kissed me once more and shrugged.  
  
"I didn't do anything." He thought. I smirked and held him tightly. He would never know and that was okay. 


	6. CH 6

6.  
  
Believe or not nothing else happened between the two of us, we sat there for a long time cradling eachother but it went no farther then that. Probably because it wasn't long before I heard the door open downstairs. I pushed Takeru off my lap and bolted out of the room trying to make it look like we hadn't just been hanging all over eachother. Tai was standing in the hallway his hands shoved into the pockets of his khakis. I blinked.  
  
"What now?" I asked angrily. He looked up at me, from the bottom of the stairs and sighed.  
  
"Can we talk?" I closed the bedroom door, ignoring the look T.K. was giving me from the bed. Like he was about to scream. The fear in his eyes that yelled, what if he really does hurt you this time? Because I could tell, that Tai did not have beating me in mind. I walked down the stairs, still shirtless. My cut back exposed and wrapped for everyone to see. Everyone being Tai. I walked back into the living room stepping around the broken glass and seated myself on the couch.  
  
"Allright. Let's talk." I stated grabbing a pack of ciggarettes out of the drawer in the end table. I stuck one in my mouth and lit up inhaling deeply. The nicotine crept into my lungs, I leaned my head back against the couch cushions breathing in the smoke. I heard Tai seat himself at the opposite end of the couch.  
  
"I'm sorry." He informed me. I opened my eyes and looked over at him. He was looking straight ahead at the TV, although it was off. His expression was utterly ashamed.  
  
"It's allright." I said taking another drag from the ciggarette.  
  
"No, I really am. I mean...I didn't even give you a chance to explain. Maybe it was something else. It was something else. Right?" Taichi inquired worriedly. I blew out the smoke closing my eyes again.  
  
"No. It wasn't." I told him honestly.   
  
"What? Oh well. Look it doesn't matter it was a mistake. I still want to be with you...if you can forgive me." I winced breathing in heavily on the ciggarette as though I had to depend on it. And right now I really did. It was relaxing me in a time when everything else was stressing me out. How did you tell someone that you couldn't be with them because you were in love with your brother? There didn't seem to be any reasonable way to put that into words. So I lied.  
  
"I don't think we should right now Tai. I think we need a break. And my back agrees." I spoke with a slight snort. Forcing my eyes open to look at him. He nodded.  
  
"I understand. Well, will you call me atleast?" Taichi questioned. I nodded and he stood up brushing a quick kiss over my forehead.  
  
"I'm sorry, I love you." He reminded me quickly before turning and walking back out. Hopefully for the rest of the day. I wasn't sure how many more Tai encounters I could handle. 


	7. CH 7

7.  
  
As the door closed behind Tai clicking back into place inside it's doorframe I became acutely aware of another presence in the room. Takeru was standing in the doorframe, his features were tense his eyebrows lowered in anger. I looked away from him squeezing my eyes shut and taking another drag from the ciggarette in my hand. I could hear his breathing from across the room coming in quick haggard gasps.  
  
"Is that what it was, Matt?" He questioned. I opened my eyes confusedly and stared at him. What on earth was he talking about? He really needed to quit this being vague business. Sometimes I think he forgot who he was talking to.  
  
"Huh?" I spat out shaking my head in wonder.  
  
"Was it a mistake?" T.K. shot, blue eyes flashing in the darkness of the unlit room. It wasn't so much that I didn't like sunlight, but it always glared on the TV. Hence the darkness and the flashing of those beautiful cobalt eyes.  
  
"No-" I forced out, and that was when I'd realized that I had made a desperate mistake by lying to Tai. Takeru had been eavesdropping. He'd heard everything. More likely than not he'd thought he would stand there in case it became neccessary to come in and rescue me and just by chance I'd had to say something stupid.   
  
"Well you didn't deny it, did you?" Takeru choked out his eyes were watering now, he seriously was on the verge of breaking down and I had no idea what to do. I just did what I always did. I put the ciggarette out in the ash tray on the endtable and walked over to where he stood wrapping my arms around him. For a moment he relaxed in my grip and then he pushed me away.  
  
"Takeru-" I started but he stopped me quickly.  
  
"I have to go." T.K. decided shaking his head. A tear fell down his face, I decided quickly that all I was doing...all I'd done ever since I'd told him I loved him was hurt him. He hadn't cried this much in years. I was breaking my little brother into hopeless bits and it was killing me to see it just as much as it was killing him to feel it. So I didn't stop Takeru from going upstairs and packing his bag. I didn't call after him when he came back down the stairs and paused in the livingroom doorway as though he expected me to say something. I didn't even stop him when he walked out the door and slammed it behind him.  
  
No. I waited until he was long gone before I hung my head into my hands and cried like my world was ending. 


	8. Ch 8

8.  
  
There are some people who find it hard to smile when they feel like the world around them is crumbling to pieces, I just think those people haven't had enough practice at it. I on the other hand have had plenty of practice at acting happy for the groupies. During the autograph signings we had before every concert I did enough smiling for all of Japan to live on for the rest of their lives. All those flashing cameras and yelling girls, not to mention the boob signing and what-not. You'd think I would've atleast had something else to focus on other than T.K. But I didn't.  
  
The whole time Takeru was the only thing on my mind. It didn't matter whose boob I was signing I would've preferred to be writing on his body. Which was probably sick and disgusting...but as T.K. had pointed out so brilliantly, if it didn't feel disgusting how could it be? He had to be right because I was beginning to think I was going to be sick if I had to go a whole day without him.   
  
I pulled on the ends of my long sleeved black shirt, it clung to my arms and hung with the slightest slack around my torso. That on top of the leather pants and I had to say I was looking pretty decent. Everybody else seemed to agree too although I'd almost been viciously mauled by a girl who was complaining about the fact that I had sunglasses on. I didn't see why anyone needed to see my bloodshot eyes. Besides I had an excuse. Rock star...hello?  
  
Autograph signing bled into concert, I performed just as well as I usually did. Every ounce of my ability forced into singing the notes of the music I'd written with my own concentration...and a little help from the band. The audience blended into one big mass of people. Not a face stood out from the others, nobody was special. They were all just fans, people who thought they loved me but would never have if they knew who I really was. There was only person who knew the real me and still loved me for it. And it wasn't Tai.  
  
The music slowed down to our closing number, a slow ballad written for a special someone who I'd never told it was for. I closed my eyes for a moment letting my mind and voice adjust to the new rhythm and when I opened them again I was surprised at what I saw. Takeru sitting in the fourth row staring at me without an ounce of dislike in his eyes. I smiled and this time it wasn't forced, our eyes held on to eachother. The good thing was that I don't think anyone noticed except him.   
  
But I do think he knew that I was singing the song just for him. And that was how it was supposed to be when you wrote a song for somebody. When the song ended he stood up from his chair and walked around the side of the crowd. Was he going to leave? My heart jumped into my throat, it was hard to resist throwing down the microphone and running after him but somehow I managed to look back at the audience and offer a quick closing speech before I turned and walked off the stage. 


	9. CH 9

9.   
  
The dressing room was dark when I went in, the rest of the band had gone out to drink but I wanted to hang back. I wanted to see if Takeru was still lurking about somewhere. I stepped into the dark room and sat down my guitar case, then not bothering to flip on the lights I edged my way over to the mattress sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. It was there in case anything drastic ever happened. Like if I went into heatstroke or one of the members felt ill, the cot was there as a neccessary precaution. To this day it had never been used for anything other than a place to sit when you were practicing. My hand reached instinctively for the pack of cigarettes that should've been sitting beside the cot. But there was nothing.  
  
I sighed, that was just wonderful. All this and I couldn't even sooth the nic-fit I was having. I lay back on the pillowless matress putting an arm over my eyes as though I were trying to block out the world. As though I could've seen anything even with my eyes opened and uncovered. It was pitch black in there, the room had no windows. It was just a backroom at the club mainly. I'd nearly fallen asleep when something was placed between my lips. It was a ciggarette. I smirked against the familiar taste, as somebody seated themselves on my waist resting their legs on either side of my thin frame. A flicker of light arose in the room as the stranger lit up my ciggarette. But it wasn't a stranger.   
  
"You were looking for one right?" Takeru asked in the dim firelight. I nodded inhaling deeply on the ciggarette and then pulled it out of my mouth and ground the smoke out on the ground.  
  
"I was. But I found something better." I informed him, he released the button on the lighter a small clatter alerted me that he'd thrown it aside. Then I was acutely aware of the fact that I could feel his breath against my face, his hands sliding under my shirt alerted every nerve in my body. This was it. This had to be it. I didn't know how much longer I could stand putting it off. Then his lips were on mine, pressing needily lustily into my mouth. It was something entirely different from what we'd had earlier. This was pure want. Desire that had built up over the day. It was strange to think that all this had only happened in a single day.   
  
"I love you." I whispered into his mouth, he didn't reply quieting me with kisses that said simply that he felt the same. It was more then good enough.  
  
"You were singing for me, weren't you Yama-kun?" Takeru asked in a rather husky and broken voice as he struggled to unbutton my shirt. I pushed his hands away pulling it over my head instead.  
  
"Just for you." I specified. Even in the dark I could feel him grinning, he kissed his way down my exposed chest purposely bucking his hips against mine. I grabbed for him pulling him up by the shoulders and pressed my lips to his, it was like I couldn't live without feeling him there. And I wanted to feel him there forever. Our tongues melded in a passionate, frenzied meeting everything was going so quick I was afraid it would be over before I could even experience it. But I couldn't slow it down, and I didn't really want to. I just wanted it--him now. I forced his shirt over his head pressing kisses to the soft skin of his neck. I knew from experience that in the proper moonlight his skin almost shined. It was an unearthly glow that revealed what I'd known all along. Takeru was an angel and should an angel really be violated in this way just for my own gruesome desire?  
  
I groaned softly holding him to my chest resting my face against his collarbone, kissing the delicate defined bones. It became clear then that this was not the time. This was not the place. No matter how much I wanted it Takeru deserved better. He atleast deserved the comfort of a real bed for his first time. This was the reason I rolled out from underneath his body and flipped on the lightswitch. I grabbed my shirt off the ground pulling it back over my head and walked out of the room leaving T.K. to stare after me in confusion and wonder. 


	10. CH 10

10.  
  
I heard him before he spoke, heard the door forced open as he finally gathered himself together well enough to follow after me. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my leather pants and continued walking not bothering to look at him.  
  
"Your just going to leave your guitar in there?" Takeru asked. I snorted still with my back to him and continued towards the VIP exit of the club.  
  
"What about this? Were you gonna' leave this behind too?" I closed my eyes putting a single hand on the bar of the exit. But I had to look. What had he found? I glanced over my shoulder at the object in Takeru's hand. A wince overtook my body then a sigh.  
  
"I didn't know it was there-" I explained. T.K. raised an eyebrow, closing the distance between us and placed the harmonica in my hand.  
  
"Well it was." Holding the cold metal instrument brought back so many memories. Back in the Digital World when I'd played Takeru to sleep as he leaned heavily against me. So full of innocence and untouched by the ways Earth had of breaking you. Yet Takeru had always had his own innate strength. His own pure way of loving, and understanding that I would never possess for my own. As I stood there holding that old harmonica in my hand visions flew in and out of my head. How I'd tried to teach him how to play when he was twelve to no success. He'd turned his back to me and yelled about how he was untalented and useless. How very wrong he'd been.  
  
"Your perfect, Takeru." I informed him stuffing the instrument into my pocket. I didn't realize how random this would sound to him. He could after all have no idea what had just been going through my mind in that long moment of silence. He opened his mouth to disagree but before he could I swept him up into my arms, holding him tightly with a hand in the soft fragrant blonde hair on top of his head. His arms went around me and we stood there in the hallways cradling eachother lovingly. I didn't even care when the band manager came into the hallway. Didn't even take but a moment to notice him before turning my attention back on Takeru. Resting my head in his hair, I closed my eyes and savored my little brother. My perfect Takeru, an object of beauty that nobody else would ever see the way I did.  
  
I kissed the top of his head lightly.  
  
"Let's go home." I suggested, removing him from my grip and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He nodded in agreement as I pushed the exit open and together as one we walked out to my car. It was one of the only three cars left in the parking lot. I wondered who the third one belonged to, but I didn't really take too much time to think about it climbing behind the wheel. That night T.K. fell asleep in the car leaning across the shift to rest his head in my lap as I drove. And it was best time I ever had driving. That included every single time I'd had sex with some random groupie in the backseat, and everytime I'd passed out behind the wheel and the passenger had, had to drive me home. Lucky for me most of the groupies were such fanatics that they knew my address. Or else I could only imagine the spot I'd be in.  
  
At a stoplight I looked down at the boy sleeping in my lap, brushing the hair away from his eyes I sighed contently. This was what people meant when they talked about love. When people said they had butterflies in their stomach this was the feeling they were describing. Now I understood why people tried so hard to find it. There was nothing in the world that could beat it, there was nothing stronger than the power that bonded two people together in such a pure way. A loud blast sent me out of the stupor I'd been in, the light had been green for over a minute. 


	11. Ch 11

11.  
  
As I pulled into the driveway and brought the car to a stop Takeru shifted his body turning towards me. I gazed down at the boy in my lap and frowned. I didn't want to wake Takeru up, but it was going to be hard sleeping in this position and surely that clutch didn't feel too good in his side. I trailed a hand tenderly over his cheek, a smile stirred across his sleeping face. I lifted him into my arms kissing the still sleeping boy softly. His eyes flickered halfway open.  
  
"Yama?" He questioned into the darkness of the night. I pulled the keys out of the ignition.  
  
"Yea...just sleep Takeru. It's allright." I climbed carefully out of the car holding my brother in my arms. He curled towards me wrapping his arms around my neck and his head against my chest. I smiled struggling to unlock the door without dropping T.K. eventually it worked. Needless to say Takeru had grown quite a bit since the last time I'd carried him around, so it was a bit of a strain lifting him up the stairs and quite the relief to lay him down in the bedroom. The whole time his eyes remained squeezed tightly shut although whether or not he really was sleeping I didn't know.  
  
I think he understood the need for silence just as much as I did. After all the noise and the stress the quiet love was enough to rock the building without us speaking. I grabbed a pair of boxers and showered the smell of concert off my skin and the scent of alcohol and ciggarettes from my golden hair. Then I joined him in the bed.  
  
Almost as though he'd sensed my presence Takeru rolled over and wrapped his arms around me, laying his head on my chest. I held him as he slept and eventually I dozed off too. We might as well spend as much time as we could together like that because tomorrow he had to go home. He had school on Monday and mom would be expecting him back. It was probably good for him to be there anyways. Atleast Mom could cook a decent meal when she bothered.  
  
I was the cool older brother who specialiazed in take-out and rock-stardom. Or thats what I had been anyways. I wasn't quite sure what Takeru considered me now. Although hopefully it was something more then what just Yamato Ishida. His older brother. Hopefully he wasn't just loving me back because he thought I was the only person that would. There had to be lots of people that wanted to be with Takeru. He was a very goodlooking boy. With that same gold hair I'd been blessed with, and those oceanic blue eyes. With his in-born wisdom, and ability to make anybody laugh. Takeru would've been a treasure for anyone. But I liked to think he was just mine and always would be.  
  
Even if that wasn't what he thought. 


	12. CH 12

12.  
  
In the dark bedroom before the sun had even dared to peek out from it's sleeping place and shone into the room I rolled over reaching for T.K. and discovered something that scared me into action. He wasn't there. Me heart jumped into my throat, could my fears really be true? That was when I noticed a light from the hallway. The bathroom...that was all. No need to panic. I pushed a hand stressfully to my forehead and climbed out of the bed taking only a moment to relax in the joy that Takeru had not left me. And sure enough there he was, a froth built in his mouth from brushing his teeth. I leaned against the doorway resting my tired head against my hand.  
  
"What are you doing up so early?" I questioned. He spat into the sink and shrugged.  
  
"Just woke up. Couldn't get back to sleep." He informed me with a sparkling grin. I shook my head unable to resist the contagious smile. Grabbing my toothbrush from the holder I scrubbed the sleep from my mouth. T.K. had already left the room hopefully not to go downstairs and watch cartoons. That was when I realized I'd never even cleaned the glass off the floor. Snickering in the bathroom I spat the toothpaste into the sink and turned off the water. T.K. was in the bedroom he'd curled back up under the blankets but his eyes were open. He watched me come back into the room grin still painted on his face.  
  
"What are you doing? Thought you weren't tired anymore." Takeru snickered and rolled onto his back looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"I'm not." He informed me. Realization dawned on me then and I scoffed my mouth open but unable to form words.  
  
"What?" I questioned. He laughed heartily and shook his head, it was cute really. The shy way that he was insinuating what I'd avoided last night. I dropped down onto the edge of the bed and laughed into my hands, I hadn't laughed so hard in days my back shook with snickers. But when I looked up Takeru was not laughing with me. In fact he looked utterly hurt.  
  
"I didn't know it was funny." T.K. scoffed lowering his eyebrows and pursing his lips. I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I rolled off the corner of the bed placing myself over him, the thick blanket seperating our bodies. I kissed his frowning lips then, and caressed his cheek.  
  
"It's not funny." I assured him, my grin was gone replaced with entirely serious intentions. Takeru's hand went into my hair rubbing my scalp soothingly as well as pushing my mouth against his. Our gentle movements quickly changed from soft to lusty again as his spare hand ran down my bare back. Suddenly I was incredibly glad I only wore boxers to bed. His touch sent a shiver up my spine awakening things inside of me that had been asleep for the longest time. Our tongues, met caressed and explored in a manner that we both understood. This was it. It was now or never. Neither of us could go on waiting when we wanted eachother so badly.  
  
And so it was there in that dark bedroom, before the sun graced us with it's presence that I pulled back the covers and crept on top of my virgin brother. Our lips seperated as I crouched over him, through some strange fight Takeru pulled the cover over my back, covering our bodies with the warmth that would soon be no longer needed. We would generate our own warmth. I kissed his neck gently covering the pale skin with my mouth, running circles with my tongue on the surface. He made a slight noise of satisfaction, I could feel the hardness pressing against my leg. I moved purposely against it until he was moaning lightly and only then did I allow my hand to wander down into the hole in his boxers to comfort his growing girth. He tried to return the favor but I grabbed his hand.  
  
"Don't." I breathed against his neck not pausing in my motions for a second.  
  
"Why not?" Takeru huffed through some difficulty.  
  
"It's for you." I replied. A worried look crossed his face at my words, I removed my hand from his boxers and kissed him softly.  
  
"I'm sorry. Are you not ready?" I asked, I was always assuming that Takeru was thinking on the same lines I was. Sometimes I assumed too much. We were not one person, were in fact two different people with different thoughts and different intentions.  
  
"No. I am ready." T.K. reassured me but the worry didn't leave.  
  
"Are you sure?" I questioned hovering over his body. His hands fought with the sides of my boxers trying childishly to pull them down with no success.  
  
"I'm sure." He replied, I grabbed his hands away and removed my boxers myself then I did the same for him. Pressing another hurried kiss against his lips.  
  
"I'll be careful." I promised. He nodded and leaned his head back against the pillow closing his eyes. I scrambled on the dresser pulling open the drawer for the lube. T.K.'s eyes remained closed through this entire interlude finally my hands scraped the bottle and I pulled it out rubbing the lube along the length of my passion. I kissed the lids of Takeru's closed eyes softly before pressing against his opening gently at first. Careful not to tear his virginity to pieces. I didn't want him to go away with bad memories of his first time. I wanted this to be something he would treasure forever, and if anybody ever asked about his first time he'd be able to smile and describe it without a second thought to the slight pain it caused everybody at first. I wanted the sweetness of the moment to overcome the hurt he was destined to feel.   
  
I forced myself into his body watching his expression closely for any sign of him yelling out, if he told me to stop I would. Albeit I would also have to go and masturbate in a cold shower. He didn't cry out for me stop, he did however bite his lip so hard it drew blood.  
  
"Are you allright." He nodded squeezing his eyes shut tightly. I pushed further into him and he groped at my back digging his fingernails into my skin. I didn't even wince, the other feelings were enough to overpower that slight pain. Finally it was done, I'd entered Takeru for the first time. I smiled kissing his cheek softly. "Open your eyes Takeru." He obeyed looking up at me. The pain there was enough for me to cry, as a single tear fell down his cheek he wrapped his arms around my neck.  
  
"I love you." He whispered into my neck. I pulled out brushing my lips over his and then kissing him more firmly as I slid back into his body. His length pressed against my skin, he need satisfaction. I was so busy thinking about myself I hadn't even realized.  
  
"I love you too." I assured him kissing him once more, allowing my tongue to explore every inch of his mouth. I began to move in and out with more force, more desire as his ability to withstand the feelings that were being instilled in him rose. His legs rose to wrap around me making access easier. Soon I started to realize that it was no longer just me pressing against Takeru, he was pushing back. We were moving as one every muscle in our bodies attuned to eachother. I did him the benefit of satisfying his still growing want with my experienced fist. He moaned softly forcing his eyes shut once more. I didn't want it to ever end, but all good things must. Bucking against him, taking in all his warmth and comfort...basking in the mutual desire and need at his tight clenching muscles holding the most private of my body pieces I couldn't hold for long. Not with the way I'd wanted him for so long and the way he was unknowingly caressing me with every tensing of his muscles.   
  
And when it ended it was amazing, we happened together. I collapsed onto my brothers chest and he clung to me desperately with all the love in the world. As it ended the sun burst forth from where it had been hidden shining it's glorious warmth into places that had always been dark. 


	13. CH 13

13.  
  
Sunday came and went, without Takeru the day was slow and useless. I lived for the call he made to me that night. We spoke for hours. I reminded him to take care of himself at school tomorrow and he promised he would then he hung up. If I'd known what would happen I would've forced him to stay on the phone just a little bit longer. But how could I have known? No matter how good I was to Takeru I could not see everything and so there was nothing to do. I just sat the phone back down on it's holder and went into the living room to practice. The glass still littered the floor, and I did not bother picking it up. My guitar was still in the club so I had to resort to the harmonica.  
  
I should've known that placing my lips on the ruddy thing would bring back memories again, but I hadn't even thought about it. The next morning passed with the speed of a turtle with peanut butter on it's feet, it slowly turned into afternoon. I caught myself eying the clock every few minutes. Was he home yet? I couldn't have known that at the same time I was checking the clock Takeru was sitting up in the nurses office with a bloodied nose, a black eye and quite possibly a few broken ribs. I couldn't see that while I was sweeping up the remains of the Grandfather Clock, he was under an X-Ray. And I certainly couldn't have known why all that was.  
  
Finally I couldn't take it out more I grabbed the phone out of the hallway and pushed in Takeru's number. It was a number I used to call often. Back when I thought that maybe someday Mom would care about me. That maybe if I just tried to show myself to her she would take me in. But that was back when I was young and stupid. Now I knew, that no matter what I did Mother would never love me. And honestly...I was over it, although T.K. wasn't. The phone line rang on the other side, just as the answering machine was about to pickup a out of breath Mom lifted the receiver.  
  
"Hello?" She questioned, I swallowed my annoyance and put on a tone of politeness.  
  
"Hey Mom, is T.K. home yet?" I asked. She sighed louder than she had to into the speaker and then muttered something I couldn't quite understand. I could almost see her placing her hand over the receiver as she yelled, "Takeru! Yamato's on the phone!". I could still remember how he used to come running whenever I came over when we were younger. He'd push right past my mother to get to me, hugging my legs tightly. Even then I suppose Takeru had a way of loving that nobody else did.  
  
"Do you want me to bring you the phone!?" She yelled again, I winced against the sound. I think I could hear his reply almost as well as my Mother could although I seriously doubt I was as happy as she was to hear it.  
  
"No, I don't want to talk to him." Came T.K.'s voice, he was a distance away. In my mind I saw him standing at the top of a staircase yelling down to our Mother.  
  
"He doesn't want to talk to you, goodbye." And with that my Mother for the first time in her life broke my heart. I set the phone down on it's holder and sat down in the hallway. I didn't cry. My brain couldn't even process what had just happened. What had I done? 


	14. CH 14

14.  
  
After a moment I forced myself up from my spot in the hallway. This was ridiculous I hadn't done anything to Takeru, unless maybe I'd hurt him yesterday? Maybe he'd realized what I'd known all alone. That he deserved better than me, that while I made a decent brother I would never be a good enough mate. I tried to remember everything I'd said to him in the past two days, but there was nothing that stood out. Nothing that could ever have made my adoring brother suddenly hate me. I winced at that thought, hate me?   
  
With a groan I filled myself a bowl of cereal and took a seat in my usual chair, spooning bites full of cheerios into my mouth. And as I sat down my spoon I caught myself staring at the chair where only yesterday Takeru had sat. And I found myself wondering, would he ever sit there again? The grief hit me with billowing waves, it was amazing how quickly you could find love...and how quickly you could lose it. My eyes flooded with tears, with the back of my hand I pushed them away.  
  
Over the years I had learned to harden myself when things got bad. When Dad was dancing to his buffalo music, and I had a pounding headache so he turned the volume up instead of down. Just to bother me. Everytime my Mother turned away from me, every fight I'd ever been in, and trying to raise my little brother in a broken home. It would be a lie to say that I'd had a life of ease, and the entire time the only thing that made it worth living was Takeru. I'd always just gone on for him, because I knew simply that he had no one else who would. But things were different now. He was older, he didn't need me to take care of him any longer. T.K. had grown up and while I had noticed his changes I hadn't completely comprehended. It was inevitable he'd simply grown out of me.  
  
These thoughts comforted me for some reason, made me think that his disdain was natural. That I had done nothing wrong and neither had he. He was simply moving on with his life. I raised the spoon to my lips again, as a thought hit me. But then what had happened yesterday morning? Hadn't that been love? I thought it was but perhaps I hadn't been paying close enough attention. My eyes darted to the phone but I forced them away. I was not going to call him. I was going to sit here and eat my cereal. Then I would clean house and practice the harmonica and later tonight I would go to band rehearsal.  
  
And I would not think of Takeru while I did these things.   
  
But I was kidding myself. Of course I would. It was ridiculous to even think I wouldn't for a second. I knew that I would always be thinking of Takeru, even if I wasn't even in the back of his mind. 


	15. CH 15

15.  
  
I was holding Takeru, his lips were on my neck, my collarbone, my chest his hands were raking my skin. We were together the way I liked us most. Together in love, he felt the same towards me as I did towards him. It was that same perfection that I'd basked in just yesterday morning. That I'd felt last night over the phone. That same perfection that had died out with my own Mother's words, 'he doesn't want to talk to you'. Takeru opened his eyes, that had before that moment been squeezed shut. He opened his eyes and he whispered the words, 'I hate you'. Then I woke up. The shock from the dream was still making my skin tingle, the pain of hearing those words from his own mouth even if it wasn't truly him speaking hit me like a train. I pushed back my hair, my skin was cold and clammy. It was undoubtedly the worst nap I had ever taken.  
  
Suddenly I wished I'd just gone to practice tired. It would've been so much easier than experiencing that. I glanced at the clock groping around in the bedstand for a pack of ciggs and a lighter, everything that could've reminded me of T.K. did. I wished for something stronger than a ciggarette, and would've raided the liquor cabinet if it wasn't for the fact that I did have practice. I couldn't be fumbling over the chords, hitting the wrong strings. No the ciggarette would just have to do, I decided as I slid out of the bed ciggarette still in mouth and ambled into the shower with the false hopes that the hot water would melt away the stress and pain. This plan didn't work and turns out ciggarettes don't like water much.   
  
My mind simply was not with me that night, it was somewhere in Heighton View Terrace with Takeru. I imagined that about now he'd be sitting at the dinner table with my Mother eating another of her meals. They were probably talking about me and laughing, Yamato Ishida the black sheep. The unwanted. I climbed out of the shower, hurriedly dried and styled my hair, dressed and left the house. Was this how my life was going to be? Just me rushing around so that I didn't have time to think? No it wouldn't. I would just finish it myself, I'd do it tomorrow maybe. What was left to live for if Takeru didn't want me anymore? Why should I even bother? A horn blared from behind me. I glanced down at the speedometer, I was going exactly 5 miles under the speed limit, smirking at my own absentmindedness I stepped on the gas. This whole sequence reminded me of the other night when T.K. had fallen asleep in my car, his head in my lap and a smile on his face.  
  
Would I ever see that smile again? I pulled into the parking lot and jetted into the building. I was late, but that was nothing unusual. I usually was late for practice. They'd gotten used to it, by the time I got there everything was already set up for me including my guitar which I'd left here foolishly the other night. The boys looked relieved to see me.  
  
"Get up here Ishida, I'd like to get home sometime this year." I snickered putting on my usual act and jumped onto the stage. The band played and my voice rose over the microphone. That was when I saw him, my singing caught in my throat and relief took over my body. I threw down the microphone without a second thought and jumped off the stage running towards him. My Takeru. My perfect Takeru. He stood in the doorway of the club and smiled as I climbed off the stage, at first I didn't see the black eye and I didn't notice the pained way he held his stomach. They couldn't fix broken ribs after all.   
  
"I've got something to do, hold practice for tomorrow!" I yelled over my shoulder as I neared my younger brother. He looked away ashamedly.  
  
"Let's take a walk Takeru." I ordered throwing my arm in a comradely way around his shoulder, he understood this. The band had to think I was just tending to my younger brother, it was for our own good. We walked around the side of the building, and stood in the alley surrounded by walls it felt safe enough to talk to him.  
  
"I like hearing your voice." Takeru confessed. I closed my eyes breathing in his words. He was really here it wasn't me having another distorted dream, all the pain of the day barelled into me and I was pulling him into me. Holding onto him without the intention of ever letting go. All the pain hit me. And I cried into my younger brothers soft fragrant hair. He wrapped his arms around me but I could feel his muscles were tense.  
  
"Whats wrong?" I questioned pulling away from him, tears still fresh on my cheeks. He shook his head brushing the tears away with his thumb.  
  
"I messed up." He admitted with a sigh, I raised an eyebrow demanding an explanation without saying a word. "I said something Yama-kun and people heard." T.K. expanded lifting the edge of his shirt so I could see the hospital wrapping around his waist, placed in hope of keeping his ribs aligned.  
  
"What did you say?" I couldn't keep from asking he frowned looking away from me.  
  
"That I loved you, that you were mine. That the stupid girls at school needed to quit dreaming cuz' they would never have my Yam-kun. It was dumb, Matt. And they heard me." He explained. I winced as understanding took over my body, Takeru had slipped up and the boys at school had taken heed. This was the price of it, he'd decided that there was no way people would accept us and yet here he was in front of me. To say goodbye?  
  
"I'm sorry." I found myself whispering. He pressed his lips against mine then, muttering quietly into my mouth.  
  
"I don't care Yama, it's worth it." And he was right I suppose. 


	16. Ch 16

16.  
  
Today had taught me one thing about my relationship with Takeru. Without him I was only half a person. Half of nothing. But with him at my side I mattered, if only to one person I was something. I planned to live for being that someone for the rest of my life. I always wanted to be the one person Takeru could trust. The one he could run to, I wanted him to know that I would love him unconditionally and eternally. I wanted him to know that he was the only one that could make me smile when I was sad, the only one who got to see the real me instead of the act I put on for the fangirls, or the friends, or the band members. Takeru knew me better than anybody else ever would.  
  
And I was determined never to lose that. I never wanted to be half of nothing again, as long as he was with me I never would be.   
  
The rest of my life would be like this, like that night when I kissed away Takeru's bruises. When we made love for the second time and he really did enjoy it that time without nearly as much wincing or digging into my back as the first. But nothing would ever be like that first time. I would never forget any of our firsts, from the first time I saw him and realized right then that I wanted to take care of Takeru as he grew up, that I would protect him and shelter him to the first time we had makeup sex. These were times I would file away in my mind for later use. If ever I needed them again.  
  
We'd started our lives together, and we would end them the same way. I only hoped that we could on for as long as possible. Because I couldn't imagine being without him even in death.   
  
I wouldn't be.  
  
FIN 


End file.
